Reflections
Seeing things as we are
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Just as we view ourselves in the mirror, so we perceive things as we are, not as they are. This is why, in my opinion, we have not become more polarized as a society over time; rather, technology has captured and enhanced the polarity that has always been. We don't see more heated comments on social media because there is a plot to foment division; rather, we seek it out and amplify it with our own hands. Why would we scroll, view, click, or comment otherwise?
In essence, this is just another way of being human: making order out of chaos; finding comfort in knowing that our opinions are right and those who disagree with us are wrong. But let’s pretend for a moment that most of us don’t seek division — after all, it’s rather unpleasant, and we might need to be in a particularly irritable mood to do so. So, what about separation? There is still some “othering” with separation, but it is much more subtle. When we perceive people to be different from us, whether that be due to demography, upbringing, physique, or something else, it is because we are disconnected from our True Self, which is one of divinity, openness, and harmony.
Because of our lack of connection with our inner nature, we regard people as separate from us rather than as mirrors of our True Self. When you look at someone and consider them to be different from you — when they are not like "you" — what you are actually seeing is this separation mirrored back to you.
Unfortunately, the default state of being for most people is separation from their True Self. Because we live in our thoughts, we only see what we expect to see – we don't view things as they are, but as we are. We are blind to most things that do not correspond to our expectations or experiences, and as a result, we have created a world in which everything is neatly classified as black or white; good or evil; right or wrong; friend or foe; us versus them (and so forth).
However, our sense of separation is an illusion created by the ego, which stubbornly resists the basic premise of spirituality (that we are all connected and one with each other). To see more unity in the world, we must move beyond this egoic identity — which is continually trying to define itself through separation — and enter our True Self; the part of us that is connected to everything else in this universe.
As we walk along the spiritual path and transcend our egoic identity, we also have to let go of expectations. We can’t expect the world to change because only by changing ourselves will we begin to see things change in the world around us. If you don’t believe me, go look in the mirror and tell it to reflect red hair instead of brown hair back to you. Nothing changes unless you do, so this is a pointless experiment, yet we do it all the time! Before we even get out of bed in the morning, we have dozens of expectations lined up, such as:
Expecting to wake up on time
Expecting to sleep well
Expecting to wake up without back pain
Expecting our partner to snuggle us
Expecting to have a “good” day, and so on
We all have our own unique set of expectations which we’ve developed over time as a result of our life experiences. Some of these expectations are imposed by others, such as our parents and teachers. Others are imposed by our ego, such as “I should be living the perfect life by now” or “I should know what I want in life by now.” These expectations shape our perceptions of the world around us. In fact, they often shape our reality in ways that are hard to see because they are so deeply embedded. They have been internalized to such an extent that we are unaware that we are living within the gap of separation that exists between reality and our expectation of reality, which is precisely where stress and anxiety reign supreme. And then we wonder why we are so anxious and stressed all the time!
The great news is that this separation can be healed through awareness and practice of self-love which starts by removing expectations. Remove expectations and the gap of separation will shrink, bringing you closer to your True Self and inner peace, unity, and beauty.
When we are able to see our own beauty, we are also able to see the beauty in others. When we see things as we truly are, they become what they are meant to be. And when we heal ourselves, we heal the world around us.